dear Hillary...

dear Hillary-
hi. how's it going? me? i'm ok. you know, still selling laundry detergent for the man, trying to figure out what i want to do with my life. kathryn's well, how's bill?

alright, let's cut the crap.

you know there's no love lost between you + i. while i think you're a more than competant politician, but i could never approve of the way you ran your recent bid for the presidency. did you deserve to give it a go more than most? sure. but beyond your extremely lame attempts at building support, you threw everything and the kitchen sink at my boy Barry.

i'm guessing you couldn't tolerate the fact that someone else might actually beat you. what made matters worse, is that throughout the campaign you loaned - not donated - much of you + your husbands PERSONAL wealth to the campaign (a'la Mitt Romney). i can't honestly remember where you netted out (was it $4, 6, or 8 million?), but what i do remember thinking was, "wow, for every $1 someone donates to your campaign, they're basically putting money BACK in your already deep pockets."

not a very populist move, if you ask me.

but to make matters worse, you today broadcast THIS video message, straight to my inbox (oh yes, i read ALL your emails, as i decided this election cylce to pay attention to the digital strategies + executions of ALL the major candidates):
"by helping us pay off our campaign debt, you're not just helping Hillary elect a Democratic president and grow our majority in Congress."

really? is that what were you doing before you lost? oh right, you were actually smearing the one guy who stood a chance of beating John McCain and taking back the White House. but i guess by clearing your debt, we ensure that you have enough money to make sure you get elected back to the Senate, which ultimately does help grow the Democratic majority in Congress.

how dare you Senator. how dare you.

your frienemy,


raman
(btw - this format of writing letters to people is clearly nothing original of mine, as it's already been done [to death?] by several of my other friends)