Monday, September 24, 2007

i the future.

one of the (few) things i still cannot fathom is how people back home STILL don't get how the time difference thing works for me out here. now, i'll grant that you might not know how many hours ahead i am, but once you know, come on, it's really quite simple. i'm +12 hours ahead of EST. so basically, for a good chunk of you, take whatever time it is, and flip the AM/PM, because,

i'm on the other side of the world.'s that easy.

now, you're probably asking yourself, "self, what are the other things that raman still can't fathom?" quite simple, i'll tell you, it's:

now i live in quite the nice apartment. hell, it's far nicer than the place i call home back in ohio (dump). but the one thing i am still struggling with is some of the appliances bestowed upon me in my veritable lap of luxury. let's start with the oven/microwave combo unit featured above - it has 11 settings. 11 different ways to heat your bread. why does anyone need this? and which is which? and why must the symbols be so vague? don't even get me started on the ability to alter any of 3 variables - temperature (in degrees C, no less), wattage (really?), and time (fortunately, space was left out of the continuum). the end result? raman eats oft-under/overcooked food. i consider it a delicacy.

ahh, but then there's the bane of my existence - the washing machine. you beauty of a beast, you. the most ironic thing i find to be is that i actually now work in "laundry" at my company (i sell soap), and yet i cannot successfully wash a load of clothes without crisis. the last time washing left me so scarred, i was afraid to try again. ultimately, my lack of undergarments forced me into another encounter with the devil's machine. you see, this feat of euro-asian engineering has the ability to wash and dry clothing, all in one go. no need to take your clothes out. in fact, it won't LET you take your clothes out - the door locks! the unfortunate thing is, the past 3 times i have put it in for a wash, the machine WON'T STOP. i'm talking 8 hours later, and it's still spinning and soaking, on a slow, slow cycle of doom (sans dryer cycle, fortunately, otherwise i would be wearing more muscle shirts to the office). i ultimately had to use my electrical/computer engineering skills to outsmart the PLC (that's programmable logic circuits for you liberal arts & business majors) into resetting and releasing my clothes from the clenches of it's ivory maw.

i'm considering going to work naked.

aye, mr. starbuck. aye, my hearties all. It was [she] that dismantled me ...and left me with this dead stump I stand on. for forever and a day I shall chase that white whale." -herman melville


  1. Anonymous7:32 PM

    i meant that this post was the funniest thing that i have read, not the thing about your weird nails and the snail. oops

  2. dude, ok so my washer in belgium was equally evil! if i recall, you could choose various "modes" .. the options went A thru like M. I had no idea what they all meant, so I decided to go with H. It seemed to take about six hours to fully wash and dry a load!


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