stupid christmas gifts.

today, as i was wandering our friendly neighborhood consumerist megamart (searching for a white elephant/dirty santa gift for the office christmas party...which i wound up choosing to re-gift something from my own wonder-stash), i naturally wandered down the toy aisle to see what was hot with the kids this year around. along my journey, i found 2 VERY STUPID toys:


#1. Aqua-Man & his Aqua-Sub:

ok. other than being the most awesome superhero to wear an orange shirt and green pants (and the subject of a Vincent Chase hit movie), why does Aquaman need a submarine? he's AQUAman. HE CAN BREATH UNDERWATER. sigh.


#2. Spider-Man Web Rocket Spider-Car:

rather than explain this one, i'm going to sing the lyrics to the Spider-Man theme song (which, whenever you see me deep in thought, is usually going thru my head...the Ramone's version, of course, which was almost the subject of ANOTHER Vincent Chase movie):

Spiderman, Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves just like flies
Look Out!
Here comes the Spiderman.
--
Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood.
Can he swing from a thread
Take a look overhead
Hey, there...
There goes the Spiderman.

ok. in what part of the lyrics do you see, "Drives a car, down the street. Floors the pedal, with his feet"? taking it even FURTHER, let's talk about Peter Parker (Spidey's secret identity...shhhh! don't tell anyone!). Pete's a poor, down-on-his-luck photographer/teacher/student living in NYC. he can't afford a car. and if he could, he doesn't really need one. HE'S FREAKING SPIDER-MAN.

sadly, this one is not very original, it was already done YEARS ago.

indeed.