Thursday, December 18, 2008

will they ever learn?

ok, it's time we took the high(-er)brow, "nature is so majestic/i like to travel" nature of this blog down a few notches (again). last night, my roommate pointed this out to me:

(beyond the Sun breaking such important news, of course).
let's be clear. i have NOTHING against Eddie Murphy. i just don't think he is "the new awesome Batman movie series material.

in fact, Coming to America is one of the funniest movies EVER MADE. but riddle me this: did Chris Nolan (who, thankfully, is staying the director's chair) not see Norbit. or Bowfinger, or Beverly Hills Cop III, which undid all of my fond memories of Beverly Hills Cop I & II (tho the song "Axl F" is still quite awesome, i sing it in my head occasionally when completing awesome tasks at work)?

YES, i much preferred the idea/rumor of Jonny Depp (despite Pirates I & II), and while i knew it would never have happened, i expected Msr.Nolan to pull a rabbit out of a hat (and pull a HAT trick! groan) and deliver me an under-the-radar actor for the role, not a household name.
but to add insult to injury, and i quote:

"Execs have also signed up rising
Transformers star SHIA LABEOUF, 22, to play Robin.


"Meanwhile, Brit RACHEL WEISZ is said to be up for the Catwoman role."

seriously. did they not read
my post entry on what MAKES for good (and BAD) comic book movies? specifically Batman movies?!?

please, i beg you, allow me to elaborate:

BAD: did they NOT see Batman Returns (bearable, but pushing it w/ two villains, despite the sheer coolness of Christopher Walken basically playing himself, and the pure hotness of Michelle Pfeiffer in a black leather suit...though i think i can get behind the choice of Rachel Weisz)?

WORSE: did they NOT live thru Batman Forever ("holy rusted metal"...Robin, the Riddler, and Tommy Lee Jones in a pointless role as Two Face?)

WORST: did they NOT weep as they watched Batman & Robin (Robin returns as still-a-jerk, Alicia Silverstone is forced in as Batgirl, Uma Thermann is Poison Ivy, and lest we not forget Ah-nold as Mr.Freeze, "Everybody Chill Out!").

have they not learned from the mistakes of comic-book yore?
there is such a thing as TOO much. just give us a good, simple movie!
sigh. but i guess Christopher Nolan has also included 2 villains in each of his Batman movies (which were excellent, some of the BEST comic book movies EVER MADE).

i think his trick has been to draw them out over 2 acts (if anything, the more important one APPEARS at the beginning, goes away for the gimmick villain, then returns at the end for the true character punch):

Batman Begins: Rhas Al Gul (geek fact: literally translated as "the Demon's Head," excellently played by Liam Neeson the guy who was unfortunately Darkman, but awesomely the jedi Qui Gonn Gin) in the opening sequences as Ducard (but really Rhas), Scarecrow as the protagonist, and the return of Rhas in the end for the true end-battle.
Dark Knight: Harvey Dent introduces himself as the flip side of Batman's coin, the Joker steals the show, and Two-Face returns to knock us all out in the finale.

but good directors are prone to fail as well. just look what happened with the Spider-Man franchise (another example of Hollywood ultimately pooping on my childhood). SM 1 & 2, by director Sam Raimi (of Evil Dead fame) were actually both great, but SM 3? IT HAD THREE VILLAINS! between 2 of the 3, you had enough character drama to make TWO movies!
think about it...
Harry Osborn hates Spidey, becomes Hobgoblin, terrorizes Pete personally.
Eddie Brock hates Spidey, becomes Venom with the suit our hero rejected, terrorizes Pete personally
...ok, so it's a bit formulaic, but that's what makes Spider-Man awesome. he's the tortured everyman (the everyman that climbs walls, spins a web, any size, and catches thieves, just like flies...look out!!!).
don't even get me started on Sandman (oh Lowell, how far you've come since your Wings days)
but i digress.

Christopher Nolan, while i have my reservations, don't blame me. i've been hurt, nay burned, far too many times. but i'm willing to get you a chance. A CHANCE.

don't let me down. otherwise you'll be on my list.

(you don't want to be on my list)

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