raman's [theory of] evolution.

ok. i'm just going to put it out there.

whether or not you believe in evolution, you have to acknowledge the human body is a pretty cool contraption. in fact, animal life in general is (created or evolved, though i will vehemently argue the latter). just go watch the BBC documentary series Planet Earth.

but that's not the point. neither is this: animal life has certain physical traits the serve some purpose, or fills some symmetrical, logical pattern, right? most herbivorous (prey) animals (ie, deer, horse, cows, etc) have their eyes on the side of their heads to better detect predators along a wider peripheral of vision. most predators have sharp, almost fang like teeth ("canines," wolves and humans alike) to devour meat.

most creatures in the animal kingdom are symmetrically built, straight down the middle. that's what makes sagital cuts at exhibits like "Body Worlds" so cool. in fact, humans even have some wacky proportions that strangely make sense. like the fact that any normally proportioned person's "wingspan" (the distance from the end of one arm to another, when held out) is roughly equivalent to their height. that's some pretty cool stuff you got there mother nature.

so let's take this a bit further (get ready for it. this is what it's all been building up towards):

each of our index (pointer) fingers is EXACTLY proportioned to fit up the nostril of our nose - for optimal nose-picking activity.


it's ok. you can try it. i'll wait.

...


no really, give it a shot, no one is looking.



...




oh come on! like you've never picked your nose!


it fits right in doesn't it? not too loose, not too tight, just a perfect snug.

but this only HALF proves my argument. now try sticking your finger up someone else's nose. it doesn't work! it's probably important that you ask permission first, and it won't hurt if that "someone else" is a loved one (significant other, sibling, etc). i'm not going to wait around for this one, but it's sure to bring lots of fun to your household.

now, don't try this at work. i am NOT responsible for the loss of your credibility/employment. i've had this noodling around for about a year, revealing my epiphany to my girlfriend, sister, and roommate (the core of my social group). they all thought i was crazy. and then they saw the light. i figured i should put it out there now, for all to see, before some upstart academic publishes a study and claims they came up with it first.

take THAT science!